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By Vertical Frankenstein (Sun Jan 02, 2005 at 06:52:47 PM EST) (all tags)

Today was going just fine, until about an hour ago. I went to log into my account with GoDaddy and couldn't log in. Whatever, I'll just log into the email account associated with my domains and get my password. Um, why isn't that working either?

I figure all hope isn't lost because I still have the challenge/response "your dog's name" for that email account (free webmail). But it doesn't ask me for that. Instead, it wants my zip code. Of course I entered fake info because this is just a whois-spam-harvester trap account! The only way to change the email address associated with my domains is to fax a form. Ok, let's print.

Printer won't work. Well, there was that power outage yesterday, I guess the box the printer is hooked up to didn't come back up. Power is on. Monitor isn't getting signal. Hmm, reboot. Same. Open up case to find thick, black gunk everywhere: it looks like the smoke escaped from the motherboard. Ok, happy thoughts... green meadow... sunshine. I'll just move the printer to a working box. WTF?! Why is there a huge puddle of ink under the printer soaking into the piece of furniture under it?!

So, in case you weren't keeping track:

Possible domain name hijacking in progress. CHECK.
Motherboard on printer-box fried. CHECK.
Printer ink cartridge is shitting itself. CHECK.

Boy, tomorrow is going to be a fun day. Oh wait, not fun, the other thing.

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Nightmare | 5 comments (5 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback

This is why by notafurry (4.00 / 2) #1 Sun Jan 02, 2005 at 10:12:18 PM EST

you should always have a backu... oh, wait, that won't help, will it?

All I'll say is I learned the hard way not to use a free mail account as a whois identifier.

But take heart; GoDaddy are so fucking incompetent they'll probably fuck up the hijack, too.

GoDaddy incompetent? by komet (4.00 / 1) #2 Mon Jan 03, 2005 at 03:21:39 AM EST

That's the first time I've heard that. Care to elaborate? I have lots of domains with GoDaddy.

--
<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.
[ Parent ]

Sure. by notafurry (4.00 / 2) #3 Mon Jan 03, 2005 at 09:36:33 AM EST

Step one: Register domain for client.

Step two: Transfer ownership to client, leaving all information intact and simply moving the ownership to another GoDaddy account.

Step three: Contact GoDaddy to determine why the transfer didn't happen. Find undocumented dependency, resolve it, wait for transfer to complete.

Step four: Contact GoDaddy as the domain apparently vanishes, manageable from neither the old nor the new accounts - and all nameserver records change to point to GoDaddy. Discover, while explaining how DNS works, that even the highest available level of tech support have all the technical abilities of a pack of rhesus monkeys. Manage to contain shock.

Step five: Contact technical support again. Manage to deflect scripted "you have to use your registered email account to make this change" script by impressing hapless savages with a butane lighter. Still no improvement in actual problem.

Step six: Contact CEO of GoDaddy and explain desire to fill his socks with fire ant eggs in hopes that the burning, itching pain might give him a taste of what it's like to work with his company.

Step seven: Contact technical support yet again. Inquiries as to personal ancestry of support personnel apparently results in improvement of situation as GoDaddy discovers the wonders of the database, reversing the completely fucked transfer process and returning things to the status quo ante. Resolve to skip to step seven as attempts to complete the transfer begin anew.

Step eight: Contact technical support in a towering rage as, before transfer process can begin, domain vanishes from GoDaddy's systems despite its clear presense in Whois. Forget magical key (question personal ancestry) and skip to detailed inquiries of sexual habits, specifically pertaining to species preference. Discover that, like a young boy and his penis, GoDaddy was unable to resist temptation and kept fucking with things when they should have left well enough alone. (See step seven re: databases.)

Step nine: Contemplate life, the universe, and vodka. (This did not help resolve the situation, but I felt better.)

Step ten: Wait three days, with periodic phone calls to tech support, for GoDaddy to recreate the account.

Step eleven: Initiate transfer. Mutter dire imprecations. Sacrifice virgin goat during the full moon while calling upon the gods of the north, south, east, and west to give their blessings to this enterprise.

Step twelve: Transfer completes successfully. Resolve to keep goats on hand.

Step thirteen: Transfer mysteriously reverses itself, 7 weeks later. Also reloads out-of-date nameserver information. Client site (10k+ hits per week, regionally significant corporation) offline for web and email. Receive panicked call from client. Pass on tip re: vodka.

Step fourteen: Contact tech support. Discover time and neglect has resulted in fresh arrogance in tribe of rhesus monkeys. Attempt to counter this movement results in partial success.

Step fifteen: Suggest mobilization of client's Unclean Forces of the Night (aka lawyers). Contact previous $client_ISP and negotiate arrangement re: nameservers.

Step sixteen: Initiate procedure "fuck this for a game of soldiers", pay extra year's registration fee to move domain to Joker.com.

Step seventeen: Encounter minor problem with transfer. Contact Joker technical support. Discover that main technical support speak only German; self speaks only English and Spanish. Manage, through careful diction, robot translators, and much good-natured hilarity, to communicate problem. Only offer insult to technical support personnel's mother once, and not by intention. Am assured of speedy resolution, or possibly friendly prostitute; ask spouse for clarification. Am assured that it had best be first possibility.

Step eighteen: Receive email in German from Joker with broken Spanish indication that an English translation is forthcoming from Joker's UK staff. Note from robot translation that problem appears to be resolved.

Step nineteen: Problem is indeed resolved, am contacted by Joker's UK staff anyway. Cheerful insults and horror stories about GoDaddy are traded, invitation for a pint declined on account of intercontinental travel issues.

Step twenty: Several years of service without any problems ensue.

[ Parent ]

Thanks by komet (2.00 / 0) #4 Mon Jan 03, 2005 at 01:48:10 PM EST

Highly interesting - I've never had to do anything like that with GoDaddy before. Perhaps I should try out Joker sometime, and the German wouldn't be a problem.

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<ni> komet: You are functionally illiterate as regards trashy erotica.
[ Parent ]

: It's not a problem anymore by notafurry (4.00 / 1) #5 Mon Jan 03, 2005 at 01:58:20 PM EST

This was a few years ago, when GoDaddy was just getting started (and, for that matter, I think Joker was pretty shiney-new, too.) Last time I had a need to talk to Joker, the first person I spoke to switched from German to English on the fly and connected me to an English-speaking tech support person.
Note that I have heard of more recent problems with GoDaddy, even though I haven't been tempted to try them again myself.

[ Parent ]

Nightmare | 5 comments (5 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback